By 
By Paul Moore
I have recently re-entered the minefield that is modern teaching.
All learning now seems to be driven by assessment briefs, rubrics, timetables and assignment schedules. The concept of teaching appears to have been lost in a sea of bureaucracy. This is sad because the students are bright, enthusiastic (on the whole), interested, excellent communicators and in most things very competent. I should say they are third year degree students so possibly should be all of the above by now.
One of the things they seem to lack, however, is any sense of general knowledge. Talk about any subject which has not happened in the last ten years and you enter a realm where they have no idea what you are talking about. It is perhaps obvious why this has happened since they do not need to carry useless knowledge around in their heads because they have all their lives had access to a thing called the internet. They would argue, when I have raised this with them, that they are saving their brain power for more important things. Difficult to argue with that one.
However, not having an innate supply of general knowledge means that one area of entertainment for which many areas in the region are famous is a closed door to them. I refer, of course, to the pub quiz.
To be fair, thinking one has a good grasp of general knowledge does not mean one will be of any use to a team in a pub quiz. I have only ever attended one such quiz in a pub outside Strabane. No one explained to me that Strabane is a haven for pub quiz teams and that having the temerity to beat any of the Strabane teams inevitably means death threats and banishment from the town for eternity. Not that beating them was even a remote possibility. These were seasoned professionals and I recall one woman in particular who was a walking internet on any form of pop music as far back as Gene Autry. It did not help my team that they had me.
Unfortunately there is an assumption that because one works in some kind of job which is supposed to need a degree of intelligence and knowledge that one is going to be good at pub quizzes. I am the living proof that this is not so.
I do know things but they are so nerdy and obscure as to absolutely useless in an arena which requires knowledge of things everyone else seems to know. In essence I was beyond useless and have never, ever, been asked again to join any pub team. Clearly there is some kind of network which lets every team in the country know not to sign up that muppet from the Derg.
I would, nevertheless, have been brilliant in the team which appeared in the news last week for having been banned from their local pub’s quiz night. The Barking Dog pub realised that this team was winning the bar tab every week and so the owner kept a close eye on them, discovering that they spent the night whispering into their smart phones and, consequently, getting all the questions right. The fall out wouldn’t have been any more dramatic had it happened in Strabane and now there are people in this small village who will never speak to one another again.
As an act of revenge on those who brought me such ignominy on my one pub quiz appearance I am willing to work with any Strabane team to provide them with a smart phone program which will mean they do not have to whisper but just make sure that can see their phones – phones which I will be feeding answers to from the safety of my home using the smartest thing on the planet – the inter web.
