Barking up the right tree

A week or so before Christmas, I read an article about the extent of calories consumed on Christmas Day and what exercises one would have to complete to burn off said calories.

Of course, I shouldn’t have bothered with the article at all; I had every intention of eating every single calorie under the sun on the Christmas menu and not one iota of a notion of burning any off (not unless, sleeping in front of Indiana Jones on Boxing Day afternoon with the paper crown slipping off counts as ‘burning’). I won’t bore you with revisiting the calorie count article except to say, there would be plenty left over after a space shuttle launch.

However, as New Year’s Eve ambles ever closer to the horizon with its unique mélange of nibbles, drinks and resolutions, I cannot help but sense the prescient Wind of Change, as it musters around the eves of my own personal temple. I feel its persuasive draft as it caresses my cheek and I can hear its potent whisper tickling my ears. It says, “Right Fatso, you better get your act together.”

To give the Wind of Change its due, it doesn’t have to say any more than that. The implications and realities are all present and correct.

As with so many greedy-guts across planet Earth, December 31 portends a period of gastronomic debauchery followed by digestive guilt. It’s something of a vicious annual circle and come January 1, tentative steps will be taken to combat the ballooning girth scenario. That means, of course, prescribing to life-changing courses of action – diets, training, sweating, lettuce and possibly even a week on Lough Derg.

Unfortunately, most crash courses of this nature end up crashing, despite the ardent resolutions and good intentions (the road to hell, and all that).

The good news is: Whatever your intentions to eat healthier this year, it doesn’t have to be all tasteless leaves. Oh, no, no, no. Take this week’s feature recipe (which is so easy it’s hardly even a recipe) for example.

Date and nut dark chocolate bark is a great snack with no added sugar. Dates are high in fibre, nutrients and antioxidants. Nuts (in this case hazelnuts) are packed with protein and good fats and are great at lowering cholesterol. And the benefits of eating dark chocolate are legion (the higher the cocoa content the healthier). Do yersel a favour and Google it.

So, as the Wind of Change continues to muster around the eves, give yourself a break this New Year and instead of having a Kitkat, have a shard of date and nut dark chocolate bark. Your body will love you for it.

INGREDIENTS

1 pack of medjool dates, stones removed and halved

90g of smooth peanut butter

Good handful of hazelnuts (or almonds or pistachios), chopped

1 tsp of coconut oil

250g of dark chocolate

THE PLAN

Line a baking sheet with some baking parchment.

Slice open the dates and remove the stones and place these sticky side down on the baking paper, close together in a rectangle shape (easier for dividing later).

Wet your hands slightly and press down on the dates to flatten them a bit. Make sure and give them a good flattening.

Give the peanut butter a blast in the microwave for 20 seconds to get the juices going and then drizzle or spoon this directly on top of the flattened dates.

Sprinkle on the chopped hazelnuts, making sure the whole area gets a few bits of nut. Set aside.

Next melt the dark chocolate and coconut oil in the microwave. Blast and stir every 15 to 20 seconds until it’s nicely melted and smooth.

Pour the choc over the top of the hazelnut layer, covering the whole surface.

Retire to the freezer for half an hour before chopping into pieces. And that’s it.

I’m not quite sure why this is called a ‘bark.’ But after you taste it, you won’t care.

Have a happy New Year, y’all!

I know I will.