Stuck in my ways

You know what I hate? Airfryers. I just don’t see the point.

I appreciate that this is a controversial opinion but there you go. It’s a fact.

And I’ll give you another fact: There’s nothing an airfryer can do that my deep fat fryer can’t do better.

“Oh, but an airfryer is a healthier way to cook than deep-frying.”

If it’s healthy you’re after why not just use the oven?

“Oh, but an oven takes a long time to heat up and my airfryer doesn’t. It also cooks faster than an oven. It’s a more economical way of cooking.”

I didn’t realise you were so pushed for time. You must be so glad you’re able to save a whole ten minutes in the evening. Also, you had to spend money on your airfryer. How long did it take to recoup that expense from the economical cooking? You don’t know?

“But they’re so handy. I have it on the worktop in the kitchen. It’s so convenient.”

So where is the oven? In the shed outside?

“I love my airfryer and I won’t hear another bad word said about it.”

Then you’ve come to the wrong place. ‘Cause I hate airfryers.

“You have probably never even tried an airfryer.”

Actually, I have. I used one once for chips and I decided that my deep fat fryer’s chips were a hundred times better.

“But your chips are so unhealthy, y’all.”

Tastier though. Also, I’m not eating chips every night of the week. Once a week in my deep fat fryer is acceptable.

“You’re so old fashioned.”

You stink.

“You need to move with the times.”

You’re ugly.

“I give up.”

Happy days.

As I said prior to having this imaginary conversation with someone who loves their airfryer, I hate them. I hate the way they’re everywhere and that they’re just small convection ovens, a more compact version of the oven I have in the house.

“Can’t you just accept that other people like the airfryers and leave it at that. Each to their own and all.”

Here we go again.

Actually, yes, I can. But I don’t want to. I understand, you see , that airfryers are just small convection ovens and so I don’t understand their popularity. I don’t understand why other people don’t see them as small convection ovens, appliances that don’t work as well as deep fat fryers and which are only adding to the clutter on a kitchen worktop. I can do everything an airfryer can do with the stuff I already have in the kitchen. Why would I then spend more money on something that is only going to take up space to complete tasks that the current kitchen can already complete?

“There’s no hope for you.”

Hope, is it? Hope? Maybe I have lost hope, yes. I lost hope after the world went bonkers for an appliance they didn’t need. Capitalism packaged up a new countertop oven despite the fact that we already had ovens. This isn’t innovation. This is an expensive fad.

“You’re not going to make any new friends with this argument. People love their airfryers.”

People are entitled to their opinions. As am I. And I say airfryers are a modern equivalent of the emperor’s new clothes.

“You’re blinkered and stuck in your ways.”

And?