A win for boxing… barely

Anyone partial to perusing this part of the paper will know that sports columns are not my forte.

In fact, not only are they not a speciality of mine, they are absent from my column canon altogether.

However, do not be misled; the fact that I have never written a sporty column is neither a source of pride nor shame for me, but merely a statement of truth.

There are those that hate sport – objecting to it at some deep, almost ideological or constitutional level. These people often identify as geeks, nerds, or profound anti-jocks of some other shade.

Prone to denouncing sport for its proclivity to promote the uglier side of our nature, they say that it fosters aggression and an unhealthy obsession with competition.

And beyond that, there lies an even harsher line of criticism, one that calls those who play sports trivial, unsophisticated, and shallow of thought. In other words, stupid.

“It is all meaningless anyway, man,” cries of the overgrown, emotionally-pained teenager. “It is just a way of trying to generate some kind of false purpose in your otherwise empty lives!”

Which, if the alternative is wallowing in said emptiness, seems to me to be the sensible thing to do.

But, whatever. I am not going to be drawn into an argument with an imaginary overgrown teenager… or is it too late for that?

Long story short, I find these sort of arguments annoying, nihilistic, and wrong. Thankfully, however, they are also pretty uncommon, and those that peddle them are generally brittle-boned and uncoordinated. Therefore, if you ever catch yourself in a heated debate with someone coming out with such rubbish, rest assured that you will probably hold your own if things spill over into violence.

Anyway, this is all a preamble to me making my first ever published comment on a sporting event. Here goes…

I would like to use this esteemed and privileged platform to say a big fair play to Tommy Fury (reality tv star, inexperienced professional boxer, and younger brother of world heavyweight champion and all-time great, Tyson Fury) on his recent victory over Jake Paul (Youtuber, mouth, and defiler of the sweet science), and the long-overdue triumph of actual boxing over celebrity boxing.

For those of you who are not in the know, over the last number of years, a phenomenon of celebrity boxing has emerged, grown and cast a shadow over the world of actual, genuine professional boxing.

Boys that have found huge fame through the internet, have, despite a total lack of experience, commitment and talent, been involved in some of the most high-profile and biggest earning fights in recent times.

The whole thing has split the boxing fraternity, with many saying that these celebrities have shown contempt for the sport and the professional fighters that dedicate their lives to it, while others argue that they have introduced millions of new fans to professional fighting.

I was and remain in the first camp.

Well, on Sunday night, celebrity boxing was pitted against actual boxing when Tommy Fury met Jake Paul in the ring in Diriyah Arena, Diriyah, Saudi Arabia.

Tommy, despite being as well known for being a contestant on Love Island as for his fighting credentials, on the night represented boxing. He is a member of what his big brother Tyson refers to as ‘The Fury Dynasty’; a travelling family who have a proud tradition of being ‘fighting men’.

His opponent, Jake Paul, along with his brother Logan Paul, are the quintessential embodiment of 21st century fame. What he is good at, nobody is quite sure. But he has amassed a huge following –and amount of money – nonetheless.

When the two went toe to toe, it was boxing versus this other inane, substanceless, perversion of the sport. And, I am happy to report, boxing won.

With Tommy taking the victory via a split decision following what under normal circumstances would have constituted a very boring fight, a wishful thinker could be forgiven for hoping that Fury has dealt a conclusive knockout blow to the fad of celebrity boxing. I want to think that…

However, unfortunately, I reckon it is more likely that we will see a multimillion pound rematch, and more drab, dizzying, lucrative celebrity boxing.