Radio… silence!

The other day, I heard some insufferably smug radio presenter announce to his listeners that recent studies suggest that people enjoy getting ready for a night out more than they enjoy the actual night out itself.

“Well if that is true, that is depressing,” I moaned to myself.

As if relishing the misery he was arousing in me, the smarmy presenter, his voice warm with self-satisfaction, went on to say that the research-psychologists behind the ‘groundbreaking’ work say this is the most recent in an ‘exciting string’ of new findings that seem to indicate that people derive more pleasure from positive anticipation than they do from direct experience.

“I don’t understand why you’re so delighted about this. It isn’t your research and it is absolutely terrible news for the entire species,” I hissed, now addressing the pompous pre-recorded prat, rather than the empty van.

But did he desist? Hardly. He’s a tube on the radio.

But did I turn him off? Of course not. I love hating tubes on the radio.

My interest climbing in unison with my loathing, I listened closely to hear where this prized prannock was going with his perversely positive take on this utterly saddening revelation about the basic nature of people.

After introducing his ‘eminent, erudite and completely original’ guest, with a gut-churning degree of obsequiousness, the pair spent about five minutes congratulating each other on their respective births, before proceeding to knock about words and phrases like ‘fascinating’, ‘counter-intuitive’ and ‘paradigm-shifting’.

Meanwhile, from the discomfort of the van, I choked back the boke.

The thing that was so completely maddening about the whole segment was that at no point did either of the two men, their heads so far in the lofty clouds of academia, come close to acknowledging that it might not be a good thing to live in a world where people struggle to get enjoyment from the things they think they most like doing.

“I know you two twats love a good wacky idea, but is nobody going to put forward a few tips on how we can maybe live our lives in a manner that means we don’t just enjoy the thought of our favourite things, but maybe also the things themselves?”

And did they? Of course not.

This might sound ridiculous, but it half-reminded me of Oppenheimer, so bewitched by the thought of harnessing atomic energy, that he lost the ability to see the people who would perish inside the thick white walls of his mushroom cloud.

Likewise, so enthralled was this researcher with the prospect of proving something that runs so contrary to our intuitions, it seemed he had lost sight of what his theory would actually mean for people.

Now, I understand that where Oppenheimer was creating a monster, this guy was only looking under the bed.

However, it seems that if you’re going to tell everybody that they’re built with quite a significant psychological flaw, you probably shouldn’t do it with a big smile on your face.

Anyway, as much as I usually enjoy having a good fight with the radio, this proved too much, and I turned it off.

Maybe I actually enjoy the thought of an argument with the radio more than I do the argument itself.