Real life fantasy – One For The Road

Have you ever heard of something called frequency illusion? It’s a cognitive bias, sometimes referred to as frequency bias, or the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon. The concept is still relativley obsure to the wider world, yet to pierce the mainstream in the way confirmation bias has, but I reckon it won’t be long until everyone knows about frequency illusion. And for good reason; it’s everywhere.

Because, while the phrase itself might still be novel to the masses, there is not a single person reading this who hasn’t fallen under its powerful spell. Before reading on, hazard an aul’ guess as to what it might be…

Have you guessed? Yes? Good.

Okay, so a lazily obtained google definition states that frequency illusion “is a cognitive bias in which, after noticing something for the first time, there is a tendency to notice it more often, leading someone to believe that it has an increased frequency of occurrence.”

You buy a new blue BMW, you start noticing blue BMWs everywhere. Somebody uses the word ‘dynamic’ once, then suddenly it seems like they’re squeezing ‘dynamic’ into every other sentence. You take stock of a man drinking a pint of Guiness before it has settled, and, until the spell is broken, there is a some dirty heathen defiling the holy black in every pub you enter.

You get the picture.

Now for a bit of reverse agony-auntage, because, frankly, I need help.

I think I’ve fallen under a weird frequency illusion myself but I can’t be sure. You see, snapping out of a frequency illusion is like many things in this life; you can do it alone, but it’s quicker and easier with the help of another.

Right. So for some time now it has been my experience that there are more pedestrians than ever before choosing to walk on the road instead of the footpath. I see it all the time, and each time, without exception, I comment that the person favouring to plod the road over the purpose-laid path is definitely mental.

It is my perception that these wannabe-pancake-people began multiplying at some indefinite point over the last few years.

The first time I recall noticing the phenomenon was when I saw this odd behaviour being practiced by an aul’ man who lives out my road. We will refer to him as Jaywalker 1.0, and, astonishingly, he is still alive and well and walking the roads – literally.

Profoundly grey and slightly crooked, Jaywalker 1.0 struggles the roads with an arthritic gait, day in, day out. I cannot imagine Jaywalker 1.0 was ever very fast, but the years have thoroughly dispossessed him of any agility he may have once had.

Anyway, Jaywalker 1.0 will only – and I emphasise only – lower himself to using the footpath when it appears certain that two cars travelling in opposite directions are set to converge upon his person. Then, the second the threat has passed, he labours back down onto the road, and on he goes.

Like I said, mental.

Ever since noticing Jaywalker 1.0 a couple of years ago, I’ve realised that he is not alone – far from it in fact. Everywhere I look I see these psychotics walking parallel with empty footpaths.

But everyone I have mentioned it to just seems to looked at me funny.

I’m the only one who sees it… Could it be that Jaywalker 1.0 put me under this compelling spell?

So this is what I am asking for.

If you see me on the street or happen upon me in the pub, please do not hesitate to restore my confidence in my sanity by corroborating my experience with your own.

Equally, if my faulty faculties have fooled me into becoming the unknowing prisoner of my misperceptions, please, for Jesus’ sake, throw me the key and abet my release.

I’m telling ye, frequency illusions; you can get yourself into them handy enough, but you need an ally to get you out.