Strabane family to receive Foyle Hospice ‘Lights of Love’ honour

A STRABANE family will this year have the honour of switching on the Christmas lights at the Foyle Hospice’s annual ‘Lights of Love’ ceremony.

The ceremony, where families touched by cancer can honour their loved ones, will see the Fitzgerald family flick the switch on December 20. The emotional ceremony brings bereaved families and friends together to pay touching tributes to those they miss and love.

The local lady being remembered at the ceremony is Helena Fitzgerald. Helena was an A-level English teacher and special educational needs co-ordinator at Holy Cross College, Strabane, who tragically passing away from cancer aged just 44. Described as ‘an intelligent, vibrant woman who was full of love and fun’ Helena was an adored wife to Anthony and devoted mother to her two children, nine-year-old Milo and six-year-old Rogan.

Anthony this week took the time to share the family’s story, detailing Helena’s struggles, and impressing on people just why the Hospice means so much to them.

“In early November 2019, without warning or any obvious symptoms, Helena had a seizure at home,” he explained. “A scan revealed it was a glioblastoma brain tumour. Glioblastoma is one of those tumours that is so aggressive, it changes quickly. Within a matter of days, the tumour had already grown, so Helena made the difficult decision to undergo a six-hour operation on Christmas Eve and later underwent chemotherapy and radiotherapy…”

“Helena wanted to spend as much time as possible with her family, which she was able to do as the operation had no medical complications. The Foyle Hospice Specialist Palliative Care Team was able to treat Helena here in her own home.

“It was ours and Helena’s wish that she remain at home; with excellent medical support, thankfully this was possible,” Anthony added.

NURSING

Foyle Hospice community nurses, Brigeen McCloskey and Caroline McIvor, nursed Helena at home with a care programme in place. The family enjoyed quality time which gave Milo and Rogan the opportunity to deal with Helena’s illness and prepare for her eventual loss. Anthony says that Helena ‘was very content in their company.’

Anthony also praised the Hospice for their availability 24 hours a day in catering for the family’s support needs, especially in preparing the boys for Helena’s passing, which is where Healing Hearts came to the fore.

“Knowing that we could contact the Hospice, day or night, by phone if we needed them, provided us with the reassurance that Helena was receiving the best possible care,” he said. “Our house was a positive household – even to the end.”

Healing Hearts at Foyle Hospice is a counselling service for children and young people aged 4-16 that prepares them for the death of a loved one and helps them work through their grief and is not exclusive to children of parents associated with the Hospice, catering for children no matter the circumstances of death.

Anthony continued, “Michelle Kosky, facilitator at the Foyle Hospice children’s counselling service, Healing Hearts, reached out to me. It was a hard step to take but it was the best decision for the boys, particularly for Milo who was older and understood the situation better than Rogan. In a secure and calm environment, Milo received information and invaluable knowledge regarding his Mum’s health over a four-month period, helping him process the massive changes happening in his young life.

“Knowing I had a caring professional like Michelle helping my children to prepare for the shock and sadness ahead, relieved a lot of stress and was an enormous benefit to me personally. As the boys observed the changes and deterioration in Helena’s health, Michelle was then able to plan her discussions with Milo accordingly. I got reassurance from knowing that all that could be done, was being done to prepare Milo and Rogan.”

Knowing what Foyle Hospice has done for him and his family in this heart-breaking time, Anthony is urging families in similar circumstances to reach out for help if they need it.

“I would highly recommend Healing Hearts to other parents in similar situations. I understand that parents, for a variety of reasons may not want to engage… and I have felt that pain too, but it’s vital to start the process.”

Anthony added, “When your spouse or a close family member has a terminal illness, you are not going to have all the information, answers or maybe even the coping mechanisms to deal with it. My advice to any parent that finds themselves in this heart-breaking situation is; don’t delay in engaging and getting informed as soon as possible. Preparing children for a devastating loss is vital and having maximum time to process the information is hugely beneficial. Time is precious; when the worst of luck engulfs a family, using that time wisely is crucial.”

Anthony concluded by saying that, although Helena didn’t stay at the Hospice, he can’t speak highly enough about the solace and support he received during Helena’s illness and passing.

Dedicate a Light of Love in memory of someone special

If you would like to ‘shine a light’ by donating in memory of someone you love, you can visit the Foyle Hospice’s virtual Lights of Love Christmas tree and upload a photo and message of remembrance at https://foylehospice.com/get-involved/lights-of-love/

If you have received our Lights of Love letter mailed to your home, you can write the name of your loved one on the special tag provided, alongside your own special message, and make a donation in their memory. Your tag will then be placed on the Lights of Love Christmas Tree at Foyle Hospice. Please return Christmas tree tags to Foyle Hospice, 61 Culmore Road, Derry, BT48 8JE.

Everyone is welcome to join in at 7pm on December 20 for the interdenominational ceremony, for people of all religions and none, in the grounds of the Hospice. Tea, coffee and light refreshments will be served afterwards. Foyle Hospice thanks the community for their ongoing donations, enabling them to deliver specialist palliative care throughout the North West.

For more details on all the services provided by Foyle Hospice, please visit www.foylehospice.com or call 02871 351010.