By 
This week’s Boneyard article comes straight from the typewriter of our man on the front line, Señor Henry Hughes the Third. He is an international man of mystery, old Henry. Where exactly he is, nobody knows, but every so often he sends a letter to my door.
And this time it came in a turquoise envelope. Inside that envelope was a crushed dandelion, and the following letter:
Reader beware….
She took the bottle into her hand, a tall 1.5L plastic container, and asked to the room, “Who owns this?”
“I do L.S.,” Daly owned up.
Only last week, L.S. Carroll had chose him to lead the class in a rake of burpees after the evening room inspection. All 30 of us hitting the deck on his count. This was for no particular reason, merely that Daly’s persona had the unfortunate quality of attracting unwanted attention from the various Leading Seamen and Petty Officers in charge of us.
He had a propensity to say the wrong thing at the right time, for instance, responding with ‘frigging burpees’ when asked what his favourite exercise was.
“Do you know what I do with bottles that are left out before inspection Daly?”
“I don’t L.S.”
She opens the screwcap, and turned the bottle on its head.
“I pour them out on the deck.”
Daly watched the contents spill out while the L.S. smiled on. She was clearly in a playful mood this evening. She let the bottle drop when it was empty, and stepped over side-by-side with Daly to assess the damage.
“You better get that cleared up before someone slips.”
“Yes L.S.,” he complied meekly, and made for the cleaning locker.
“Where are you going?” L.S. Carroll’s Cork accent reached a high pitch and rang through the room.
“Just to get the mop L.S.”
“What would you need that for?” she said with a smile. “On your belt buckle, Daly.”
Down he got, and he made his way for the puddle.
“Roll around Daly! Make sure you get it all!”
He rolled over and made eye contact with me. I could’ve killed him.
“Hughes. I don’t think Daly’s uniform is going to get all that. What do we do when our buddy is struggling?”
“We dig them out L.S.”
“Then you know what to do so.”
