Omagh mother turns miscarriage pain into power

When Catherine and James Muldoon lost their baby in the early days of their first pregnancy, they hardly told anybody.

Months of excitement, hope and planning were suddenly swallowed by a secret tragedy, leaving the couple emotionally shipwrecked, adrift in a sea of confusion and loss.

Like many people that suffer a miscarriage, Catherine said she and James felt like they had been thrust helplessly into the unknown.

“There was no map to help us navigate the mire; nobody to guide us through our grief,” said the Omagh woman, speaking with the TyroneHerald.

Fast-forward almost nine years from that life-changing trauma, and the couple have been blessed with two healthy children, James (8) and Clara (6).

However, despite the joy their baby boy and girl have brought them, Catherine said that there is no amount of love and fulfilment that can eclipse the memory of the little one they lost.

“The reason I became involved with the Little Forget Me Nots Trust was because there was so little support when James and I went through our miscarriage.

“At that time, there was no child loss charity locally – at least not that we knew of.”

Soon after miscarrying, the couple conceived again. Though this was exactly what they wanted at the time, retrospect reveals that it was not without a certain cost.

“Getting pregnant with James so quickly was amazing, but it meant I never really processed what happened with our first.

“A few years ago, I began looking back at that turbulent time, and I realised how much of a difference some support could have made. Soon after that, I became a volunteer with the Little Forget Me Nots Trust.”

For those who have not heard of the aforementioned organisation, it is a charity that supports parents grieving the death of a child, including pregnancy loss.

Recently, as a result of her work with the Little Forget Me Nots Trust, Catherine was given Inspirational Charity Worker of The Year Award at the Local Women Magazine Inspirational Women of the Year Award.

“I was nominated by someone who said my support enabled them to cope with the loss of their child.

“Of course it was nice to be nominated for an award, and I was very proud when I was announced the winner, but it was this lady’s testimony that meant the most to me. To hear her say those words – that I had helped her through such a terrible time – proved to me that the work I have chosen to do is having an impact. That is all I have ever wanted from this.”

Catherine then explained how exactly the Little Forget Me Nots Trust helps the people they work with.

“Our mission is about getting people the support the need; the kind that is right for them.”

For those who wish to surround themselves with people who understand them, Little Forget Me Nots Trust run something called a Just Be Cafe on the second Tuesday of every month in Omagh’s Community House from 4pm-8pm.

“This is a place where you can be with people who have also experienced child loss.

“There is the chance to take part in new therapeutic crafts, like embroidery, for example. If you don’t fancy that though, you can come for a chat, or just sit and listen.

“Whether you are having a good day or bad day, crying or laughing, there is no judgment,” said Catherine.

However, these group sessions are not suitable for everybody. Therefore, the Little Forget Me Nots Trust also help parents avail of one-to-one counselling, either for free or at an affordable price.

“Some people find that they aren’t getting what they need from the group sessions, which is fine. Our ethos is one of understanding that no two child loss situations are the same; we accept that different people need different things.”

Last week, Little Forget Me Nots Trust launched a partnership project with the White Butterfly Foundation to help raise money to pay for one-to-one counselling sessions for parents who need them.

“Through our Timeless Tiles project, which will come to Omagh on July 9, our service users will make little tiles that parents can buy to remember their lost little ones.

“Sort of like you would with a nomination bracelet, the idea is that you could get a new tile to mark different important moments, like anniversaries and such.

“All the money raised through the project will then be used to support parents in their child loss journey.”

Little Forget Me Nots Trust work with any parents that lose a child between early Miscarriage and 12 years of age. If you want to learn more about about support they can provide, visit their Facebook page or website.