Opening up about how you are feeling, isn’t a sign of weakness

Boys don’t cry.” “Man up.” “Be a man.” We’ve all had the misfortune to hear phrases like these in the past. But guess what? Flippant, throwaway comments like these cut deeply emotionally – and they stop men talking about mental health issues.

In fact, research shows that these bitesize utterings of nonsense are part of the reason why one in eight men have a common mental health problem in the UK. It is also why three times as many men die by suicide compared to women – and why men are overwhelmingly less likely to receive psychological therapy.

To save men’s lives, something has to change. But the actions many men take in response to mental health issues – brushing it off, bottling it up – simply aren’t working.

Instead, men need to see that opening up isn’t a sign of weakness – but the path to a happier and more balanced life. With International Men’s Day recently celebrated, here are our top tips on what men can do to help alleviate their mental health issues.

GET TALKING

Whether it’s with friends and family, or with an independent therapist, the first step to solving any problem is talking about it – and there are many different types of therapy available.

If you would like someone who can help you think about unhelpful patterns of behaviour, then Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) might be the right solution. However, if you need help overcoming a specific challenge such as addiction, then counselling may well be a great way to find out how others have had the same challenge before – and the steps they have taken to overcome it.

GET LISTENING AND WRITING

The majority of humans love giving advice, but how often do you listen to your own? The next time you are struggling with a mental health issue, ask yourself: What would I say to myself in this situation? And remember to lend an ear to other men when they are in need —-– after all, the more we listen to others, the closer we get to cracking the stigma about men opening up.

If you aren’t ready to speak out, even just keeping a diary can help you recognise negative symptoms or thoughts. Helping you understand whatever might trigger anxiety or other mental health issues.

GET MOVING

Exercise has vast physical benefits, including boosting your energy, helping you sleep better and reducing the risk of diabetes. But it also reduces anxiety, depression and improves your mood by releasing endorphins – the so-called ‘feel-good hormones’.

By exercise, we don’t mean cranking out reps until you look like Jean Claude Van Damme. Just a brief 30 minute session of moderate exercise a day can be enough to help reduce depression and anxiety. In fact, studies show that there is a 20 per-cent to 30 per-cent lower risk of depression and dementia for adults participating in daily physical activity.

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD

Beyond exercise, finding a new hobby can be key to alleviating mental health issues. Maybe it’s cooking. Maybe it’s gardening. Maybe it’s whacking a ball into the sun at the driving range.

Whatever it is, find something to do that transports you out of your thoughts and to somewhere else for a while.

GET RELAXING

Did you know that massage is a fantastic aid to mental health? That’s because, as well as improving circulation and blood flow, massage releases endorphins, just like exercise, that improve your mood and contribute to reducing depression – and it has been soaring in popularity recently.

GET ON YOUR SIDE

The crux of the issue is this: You can’t afford to put your own needs at the bottom of your priority list. If you want to improve your mental health, you need to commit time and effort to the goal. It’s not unmanly, it’s not weak and it’s not vulnerable – it’s putting yourself back on the path to a happy state of mind.

IF YOU WANT TO TALK

If you need someone to talk to about how you feel or how to support someone else, you can speak to a friend, family member or your GP.

If you or someone you know needs help, you can telephone Lifeline free at any time. Lifeline is a crisis response helpline available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to people in Northern Ireland. It offers immediate help over the telephone if you, or someone you know, is in distress or despair. Telephone: 0808 808 8000

The Samaritans offer a 24-hour telephone helpline:

• telephone: 028 9066 4422 (local call charges apply)
• National telephone:116 123 (this number is free to call)
• textphone: 08457 90 91 92

If you’re under 19, you can contact Childline via telephone: 0800 1111