Do dogs go to heaven?

W hat lies ahead … is not an annihilation of the universe and all that surrounds us. Rather, it brings everything to its fullness of being, truth and beauty.”

– Pope Francis

A friend asked me recently, “How long are you gonna to keep this Waffle bandwagon going, sur?” By this he meant, how long do I intend on writing about the hound and his myriad adventures in these columns. My honest answer was, “I don’t know. But the bandwagon is still moving downhill and it looks as though there’s a bit to go yet.”

The thing about Waffle (and his associated adventures described herein), is that there is never a day goes by that something doesn’t happen when he augments his cuteness, cheekiness and stupidity to new and hitherto uncharted territories. By this I mean, there is always plenty of incidents to report, good, bad or indifferent.

And then, even when there are no incidents of note on any given day, something as mundane as a wander in the woods can turn up lichen-clad ponderings hitherto un-pondered. Just this morning for example, I was walking along the misty lanes near home with His Hairyness and a thought occurred to me: Does a dog have a soul?

Now, I might be a lot of things but certified theologian is not one of them. However, as with everyone else, I have opinions, I know what I like and I know what I don’t like. I also know that, notwithstanding a lack of language and a similar dimension of consciousness, Waffle has feelings – as real as emotions as you or I. He is no stranger to joy or sadness. He knows frustration and satisfaction and I know for a fact he understands guilt. This latter emotion is usually and perfectly evident if and when he performs an action contrary to the Code of Civility and incurs a stern, “Whatareyouatyougstupiddawg?!?” from his master (me).

Anyone who has ever returned from a short break or holiday and is reunited with their dog will understand this next stone cold fact: Your dog missed you. And this emotion is usually and perfectly evident when your dog is (literally) wetting his or herself from excitement at seeing their master or mistress following the separation. This is excitement but it is also the very picture of canine gladness.

So, to return to the previous question: Does a dog have a soul?

As I mentioned, this thought occurred to me just this morning during our walk. I was watching Waffle course in and out of the bushes and grasses, skipping and alert, hot on the scent of whatever new quarry his wet, twitching nose had detected. I marvelled at his enthusiasm for the chase of the habitually invisible and I wondered at his never-ending ability to enjoy the small moments of a walk. In other words, I was picking at the lichen-clad but new-to-me pondering that this dog of mine has an ability to savour and delight in his various life experiences.

“Whatareyouatyoustupiddawg?!?” I exclaimed all of a sudden, when I noticed that he had his nose stuck in big pile of badger poo.

The big pile of badger poo is situated an Olympic-standard stone’s throw from my house, although only a short brock step away from the entrance to the sett. For some reason best known to the residents of the sett, the location of the pile seems to be the ideal spot to take care of one’s toilet and so the ‘pile’ is constantly on an upward trend of aggrandisement.

“Get ta Fintona, ya clown!” I exclaimed once more, when Waffle tried to sneak back to the badger’s privy hillock. “You’ve never getting into Heaven smelling of that muck, pal.”

Still, the question exists of whether the Pearly Gates would admit even a tea-tree-scented hound, never mind a badger shop-soiled fool.

Back at la maison, I immediately set aside my prototype for a perpetual motion machine for more important research – to wit – do dogs go to heaven? This extensive research (which basically involved typing, ‘do dogs go to heaven?’ into Google) returned some interesting results.

The quote at the beginning from our current pontiff was made in 2014 during a general audience at the Vatican and some people took the comments as a hint that animals go to heaven.

Milan daily newspaper, Corriere della Sera was in no doubt about his meaning. In the days after Pope Francis’s general audience, the paper’s Vatican specialist wrote, “It broadens the hope of salvation and eschatological beatitude to animals and the whole of creation.”

Perhaps it’s due to my shortcomings as a theologian, but I couldn’t exactly extract that conclusion from Pope Francis’s comments. Perhaps something’s missing in translation.

But what is not missing in translation is Francey’s predecessor’s comments. Back when he was the main man, Pope Benedict appeared to slam the Pearly Gates shut, for pets and other animals. In a sermon he gave in 2008, the famed cat lover suggested, “For other creatures, who are not called to eternity, death just means the end of existence on Earth.”

When I read that I thought: “Jeez, Benny, that’s a bit final – not to mention, harsh!”

Which brings us to another lichen-clad pondering: Does Heaven even exist at all? As a non-theologian, I nevertheless have opinions: I know what I like and I know what I don’t like. I also know that if a house in the clouds exists which doesn’t admit creatures bursting (literally) with joy, gladness, excitement and devotion, then I’m not sure I want any part of it. And anyway, what kind of craic would it be without a hound constantly getting in the way and chewing everything that isn’t made of stone?

Right on cue, the hound appeared at my side, as I sat at the computer digesting two pontiffs’ ponderings.

“Good boy wee – hang on – what’s that smell?” It was slightly sweet, earthy and musky to the point of purification.

“It’s badger dung, you fool,” I exclaimed for the third time that morning. “You’re gonna need a bath – for cripes* sakes.”

Shooing Waffle towards the bathroom, I added, “I don’t know about Heaven but if you don’t stop sticking your nose into a badger’s latrine, you might be experiencing the afterlife sooner than you think.”

*I’m keeping my nose clean just in case that big house in the clouds really does exist. FYI: The second of the Ten Commandments. 😉