Omagh woman praises new group for helping her cope with loss

ONE mother from Omagh who has joined the new support group to help parents coping with the loss of a child says it has already been having a positive impact for her and many others.

‘Child Loss Matters’ held its first meeting in Omagh at the end of July. Two more have been held since then and the group is currently putting arrangements in place for a variety of activities to help those attending.

Among the regular attendees is Omagh woman, Eileen Loughran. Her son, Gerard, died at the age of 30 in 2005 after suffering a massive bleed on the brain, having previously suffered a brain haemorrhage at the age of eight.

She says the establishment of ‘Child Loss Matters’ has had a positive impact for many people and has encouraged any parent who has lost a child to come along to one of the meetings.

“There have been three group meetings so far. I have great admiration for the three ladies – Edwina Thompson-Clarke, Kate Corrigan and Katrina O’Neill – for setting up the group. Their stories really are inspirational,” Eileen said.

“A group like this could well have been set up many years ago, but it’s a case of ‘better late than never’.

“One thing that strikes me about the group is that you’re meeting people in a similar position to your own. We can all share our own experiences, how we have coped and are continuing to cope.

“Even now, 17 years after my Gerard sadly died, there are days when something comes on the radio or TV and I’d be in floods of tears.

“From the very first day, you could see the professionalism of the three ladies who have set up ‘Child Loss Matters’ and the hard work that they and others are putting in.”

It was in 1982 that Eileen’s son, Gerard, who was just eight-years-old, suddenly became ill. He was subsequently diagnosed with a brain haemorrhage.

“Early on the morning of November 3, Gerard was taken by ambulance to the Tyrone County Hospital in Omagh. My husband, Sean, stayed behind to help with our other children,” she added.

“He was sent that evening to the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast. We were there for 18 days without leaving the hospital. Gerard was still in a coma for all time, when we were advised to go home.

“Three days later, the doctors decided to operate to drain fluid from his brain.

“They were wheeling him through the theatre doors when he opened his eyes and asked where his mammy and daddy were.”

“We went up the next day and he was sitting on the side of the bed. A nurse said he was singing for her, and I asked him to sing for me. He sang a song and ever since that day I can remember it word for word and it gives me goose bumps.

“I don’t know where he learned it from.”

The song – about the love of Jesus for little children – has lived on for Eileen since that day in 1982.

Gerard was later released from hospital and over the next 22 years Eileen became his main carer. He attended Drumcoo Day Centre in Enniskillen, loved writing poetry and attending concerts in Omagh and beyond.

On his 30th birthday on July 1, 2004, the family organised a special birthday party for Gerard.

Eileen remembers him being insistent on opening every card, and telling her with pride who they were from. However, just under a year later, Gerard sadly died, but his memory lives on among his family, many relations and friends.

“Gerard got another massive bleed in the brain, and lived for a full week. But he never spoke again,” she added.

“Although in many ways he remained a little boy of eight, we enjoyed so many good times together. I’ve always loved telling his story and know that the ‘Child Loss Matters’ group has given me and so many other bereaved parents the opportunity to share our experience. That means so much.” The ‘Child Loss Matters’ group will hold its next meeting on the last Saturday in October. Prior to that, on Saturday, October 22, it will host a breakfast morning in Kelly’s Inn in Garvaghey.