Spider-Man: the greatest swinger in town

I’m spinning! Over the weekend, I went to see my favourite Superhero in his latest offering; ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’. It was epic! Isn’t it always?

This movie features all our Peter Parkers – Toby Maguire, Tom Holland and Andrew Garfield – and an assortment of super villains.

Perhaps it’s the lycra that fires my imagination, but I’m more inclined to think Manhattan gives me the rush of blood as Spider-Man swings from skyscraper to skyscraper bringing back memories of those days I spent in New York with its distinguished landmarks; Times Square; The Chrysler Building; the Empire State Building; Statue of Liberty… and that Spider-Man pose as he looks over the city, inspired perhaps by Rodin’s statue ‘The Thinker’.

Indeed, in the posters that appeared in the summer of 2001 hailing the forthcoming release of Spider-Man, the costumed hero looks down upon New York City, the twin towers of the World Trade Center reflected in his eye.

Those images were withdrawn after the September 11 terrorist attacks when the huge towers were razed to the ground.

He’s your ‘friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man’ confined to New York unlike Superman who went off to Paris to save Lois Lane on the Eiffel Tower and flew around the globe in the opposite direction at tumultuous speed to turn back time in order to bring her back to life. Ridiculous! We’re talking reality here!

Spider-Man can’t fly, but fires off his webs from his wrists and swings from buildings and bridges at breakneck speed, Tarzanesque, albeit, he wasn’t in the jungle. As for getting the girl next door, Mary Jane has such a homely quality. Who can forget Spider-Man hanging upside down on the builder’s scaffolding; the mask pulled up (or down?) over his nose as he courted Kirsten Dunst in the rain with such innocence and wholesome chivalry.

He’s just a good kid.

To update, or dare I say, for the benefit of the uninitiated, teenager Peter Parker was not a nerd at school but he wasn’t the coolest either. He wouldn’t have made the team or got the girl.

He was bitten by a radioactive spider during a visit to a school fair, and unsurprisingly got powers that were in proportion to those of a spider at human size, most notably speed, strength and of course web spinning.

The song, from the 1960s cartoon of the Marvel comic hero, is logged in my mind: “Spider-Man, Spider-Man does whatever a spider can. Is he strong? Listen bud he’s got radioactive blood!”

Homer Simpson was so inspired, that he adapted the song for Spider Pig! “…does whatever a Spider Pig does. Can he swing from a web? No, he can’t he’s a pig. Look oooutttt!! He is a Spider Pig!!”

Peter gets employment at the newspaper ‘The Daily Bugle’ as a photographer where editor-in-chief, J. Jonah Jameson has a real bee in his bonnet about Spider-Man. He is not a fan, and believes everything Spider-Man touches comes to ruin and the innocent public are left to pick up the pieces. “J. Jameson reporting – Good night and God help us all!”

Meanwhile, brow-beaten Peter Parker, who seems to be the only person to get good photographs of Spider-Man for the publication, has bigger battles to fight around the Big Apple.

This is mega – not like Batman in Gotham City who has little more than a utility belt with gadgets and too much personal psychological baggage. “Zap!” “Bam!” “Pow!” went the 1960s cartoon version as Batman and his sidekick Robin got into all sorts of hanlins with The Joker, The Riddler, Penquin and Cat Woman …prrr! Batman was so wooden that his nemesis Joker became a bigger star especially when played by Jack Nicolson and later Joaquim Phoenix who won an Oscar for his role as ‘Joker’ in the movie of the same name. Okay, credit where credit is due Batman did fight off an assortment of villains but he’s not in Spider-Man’s league.

Before he was so cruelly slain, Uncle Ben advised Peter Parker, “With great power comes great responsibility”.

Just an adolescent, Peter is not cynical and didn’t abuse that power as he went off to save the world at huge expense to his own life and relationships. It doesn’t bear thinking what some lads around Coalisland would do if endowed with such skills and strength.

And so to battle with a myriad of super villains among them Dr Octopus (aka Dr. Otto Gunther Octavius or Doc Ock for short), The Lizard and Sandman who have also harnessed incredible powers for their own selfish ends rather than the good of mankind. It’s serious business, and no place for the faint-hearted with the good folk of New York getting caught up in many of the public battles.

At a cinema near you: ‘Spider-Man: No Way Home’ is thrilling. The battles are a Royal Rumble of all our beloved Spider-Men as Dr Strange casts a spell that goes decidedly wrong, breaking open the multiverse and allowing a host of super villains entry to Parker’s universe. However Spider-Men in previous guises also enter the fray with incredible special effects and action.

“Not everyone is meant to make a difference. But for me, the choice to lead an ordinary life is no longer an option” Peter Parker – ‘Spider-Man’.