The ‘five boys’ of exam results – Just Jack

A few days ago, granny, along with her brother, were reminiscing about these infamous ‘old times’ that we hear so much about. The topic of childhood treats came up – and a particular chocolate bar, called Fry’s Milk Chocolate became the topic of conversation. Curiously, I googled the ancient confectionery, which sported images of five young boys, each with names – Desperation, Pacification, Expectation, Acclamation and Realisation.

This stood out to me because, well, it’s August, and, if you’re a student, that means one thing – the formidable exam results. I’m sure you’re a bit confused as to how a 1950s chocolate bar can relate to exam results, but allow me to explain.

From the first moments of our GCSE and A-Level years, we’re told that the exams that we sit will define our futures -whether we make it to A-Levels, university, a decent job, an enjoyable life and a healthy retirement.

Something to note about scholars is that there are two distinct types – the studiers and the crammers.

Studiers will study for exams from September onwards, will do homework when it’s given, and complete coursework over long periods of time.

Contrast this with the crammers – they do homework the night before it’s due, coursework up until deadline and revision until the very last moment, oftentimes through the night before the exam takes place – resulting in a lot of dark under-eyes in the exam hall.

The point I’m trying to make is that these two types of students shouldn’t be pitted up against each other. Instead, both types share something that is an integral part of the student experience – Desperation! Every single student in every single school experiences desperation – to get good grades, for exams to be over, and to progress to the next stage.

Along with Desperation – enter Expectation.

Actually doing exams is one thing, but those few months between the exam date and results day are nothing short of killer. From the moment the paper closes, we begin to second guess our answers, and, through a mix of educated guesses and paranoia, we begin to predict the grade we’ll get on August 18.

Google says the definition of Pacification is the process of restoring peace or calm – something that is considerably needed at this stage in the school calendar.

At least when we get the dreaded results, we have a better idea of where we stand, and we can start developing a plan for the future.

Surely, this has to be better than the preceding paranoia and anxiety that we all know too well.

An added benefit of the results being released is that our parents also know how we did, so the persistent ‘do you think you’ve done enough’ can (finally) come to an end…or perhaps it’ll only just start, depending on how we did.

Soon, before we know it, August 18 will be upon us, and the Realisation of how we’ve done means we will leave the land of constant worry and hope and come back to reality.

Irrespective of what the long-anticipated piece of paper says, it’s bound to be good to have something tangible to work with, rather than the months of hypothesising that came before.

Finally, the best part of the chocolate has to be the Acclamation. Regardless of how we’ve done, the constant stream of well-wishes from family, friends, and peers begins – a welcome reward for a year of hard work – and a guide of how hard we need to work in the future.

However, no matter what the results are, there will always be options – do an apprenticeship, repeat sixth form, take a gap year or graduate to university – the list is endless.

The anxiety has gone, and we can finally sleep again at night –
at least for now, until the whole cycle repeats itself, and, in just a year’s time, the five boys are welcomed back into our lives, and the journey through exams takes off again.

Good luck to anyone awaiting results this month – may we all more-or-less get what we expect. And remember, no matter what it says on that piece of paper, it’s not the end of the world – there are many, many paths to success, so we must use all results, be they disappointing or pleasing, as motivation to find our own individual path.

By Jack Baxter