‘If this ever happens again, I want to be better prepared’

After Donal Rowan found himself face-to-face with somebody whose mental health had escalated to life or death proportions, the local restaurateur decided that, should the same thing ever happen again, he would be better prepared.

Earlier this week, Donal told the UlsterHerald how this life-changing experience that happened a few years ago inspired him to pursue a path of mental health training.

Donal, who runs the popular local daytime deli, Sandwich Co, is also a business mentor and life-coach.

“I suppose I have been involved in mental health in some capacity for while, ever since I became a business mentor and life-coach,” began Donal.

“As a mentor, I generally work with people who run small or medium-sized businesses, often very successfully, and we try to see how their personal and business lives overlap and intertwine.”

Sitting down with a business person, Donal attempts to create an open space where they can talk through challenges they face, and work towards setting and achieving realistic goals.

“By-and-large it works really well,” he explained.

“We usually work towards personal development and then, normally, the business benefits flow from that.”

However, a couple of years ago, Donal saw something that motivated him to step outside the world of business support, and extend his helping hand to some of the most vulnerable members of our community.

“I undertook training with Samaritans after a scary experience,” explained Donal.

“I had just dropped some people off in the town, when I was confronted with something I never expected to see.

“I will not get into it, but it made a huge impression on me, and I swore that if something like that ever happened again, I would be in a better position to help the person.”

Samaritans

“Now, once a week, I do a duty with Samaritans; answering the phone and listening to people who are often in extremely difficult positions,” said Donal.

“Every five or six weeks, we do a night duty, too.”

Donal acknowledged that, to many people, the idea of having to listen to somebody who is in acute mental distress can seem like a responsibility beyond their capacity.

“Don’t get me wrong, some of the things you hear can be really tough, but the training that you get prepares you for it.

“Often, you are speaking with people who are really badly depressed or suffering some other serious mental health challenge, and sometimes suicidal, but the training provided by Samaritans is enough to equip you to help them,” Donal described. “Our job is to listen, and provide emotional support. We are there to listen when they might feel like nobody else is.”

Recently, Donal worked with Samaritans at Electric Picnic – a music festival in County Laois.

“When you go to a festival, you do not leave your life behind.

“While most festival-goers are there having a good time, other people are looking around seeing people enjoying themselves and wondering why they feel so bad,” Donal continued.

“That feeling of being isolated from the fun that is going on around them, combined with the effects of drink, can cause people to feel overwhelmed and want to talk and reach out.

“People come and speak about all sorts of things, from anxiety, to depression, to suicidal thoughts. I’ve seen it first hand, and Samaritans Festival Branch works really well.”

Men’s Mental Health

“Men, in particular, are really good at keeping things hidden and holding things inside,” said Donal. “Maybe it is part of macho culture, but men often see showing vulnerability as a weakness.

“However, I think being able to show vulnerability in certain circumstances is a great strength.

“Everybody has vulnerabilities, inhibitions and hang-ups, and being able to admit to them and speak about them can be empowering.”

Donal, who admits that the phrase ‘it’s okay not to be okay’ might, to some people, seem overused, nevertheless, reminded us of the essential truth contained within it.

“People need to understand that it is grand to feel down or anxious or worried or depressed,” said Donal.

“The important thing is that we share how we are feeling with someone, and that we are there for others who want to share.”

Being cautious against leaving on too strident of a note, Donal modestly encouraged people who are in anyway inclined towards getting involved with Samaritans to do so.

“The training you get prepares you for the job you have to do. At the very best, it made me a better listener – and we could all do with a bit of that.”

With more than 200 volunteer-ledbranches and locations across the UK and Ireland, including in Omagh, the Samaritans offer their time to help deliver 24-hour emotional support to callers in many ways, from answering telephones and emails, to fundraising efforts, generating publicity, administration and finance.

Anyone who wants to help others, is tolerant and open-minded is welcome to apply.

To become a Samaritans volunteer, visit: ‘www.samaritans.org/support-us/volunteer’

If you are struggling, no matter what you are going through, and need to speak with someone from Samaritans, call 116 123. They are available 24/7 to listen and provide emotional support.