Hope floats – At Home

Money talks, they say. And then there is another substance which reportedly walks. That phrase sprang to mind this week when I saw the story doing the rounds about how Jeff Bezos’s new yacht is landlocked.

Apparently the Dutch city of Rotterdam has suggested that it will have to dismantle an historic city bridge so as to allow the so-called super-yacht to fit through.

Built by Dutch firm, Oceano, the boat is 127 metres long and too tall (40 metres) to fit underneath the Koningshaven Bridge. The bridge has to be taken apart so that His Majesty’s floating palace can pass through on its way towards the sea.

First of all, as you might imagine, this flagrant kowtowing by Rotterdam’s hierarchy is causing much of a stir in Holland but to me, there was never any doubt as to the bridge’s removal. Our Jeff is paying top dollar for his fancy boat (it’s estimated to have cost £350million) and I suppose that’s all that matters when all is said and done: The money talks…

I don’t know if it’s still the case nowadays but I remember (once upon a time) there used to be certain establishments which frowned upon a prospective customer wearing trainers. In fact, such establishments would have stopped you at the door and disallowed you entrance if you happened to be wearing said runners. Thankfully, I was always of the opinion that if a person’s footwear were sufficient to prevent that person’s entrance into any public house or night club, then that shallow establishment could shove their hospitality where the sun didn’t shine. However, what are the bets that Jeff could rock up in his bare feet and still be ushered past the queue and into the VIP lounge? Money talks…

Jeff’s new boat, the Y721, when floated, will be the largest super-yacht on the high seas and yet – YET – it isn’t big enough. In order to cater for King Bezos, Y721 will have to be followed around by a smaller yacht which will carry his many essentials including supercars, a helicopter and a submarine. One can never be without one’s submarine!

I hope Rotterdam dismantles the historic bridge. And I hope that Jeff gets his super boat. I hope his secondary, smaller yacht is able to carry all his essentials around. I hope he has a whale of a time, sailing around the Seven Seas. I hope he enjoys and appreciates his wealth and I hope he never tires of revelling in that richness. If that’s what makes you happy, Jeff…. Next time though, pick a company smart enough to build the thing beside the sea. It would save a whole hanlin with bridges.

Also, given the company’s cringing oversight in this matter, just make sure the thing floats.

Meanwhile, on with the programming!

First up (and in no particular order), Free Spirits is now showing on iPlayer…

Documentary a group of Team GB freestyle skiers and snowboarders around the world as its members prepare for the biggest sporting event of their lives, the 2022 Winter Olympics. With unique and intimate access to the athletes and those closest to them, cameras follow their story on and off the slopes in the build-up to the Games. From the threadbare dry ski slopes of Sheffield to the Beijing mountains, this programme captures the extraordinary rise of these athletes from a country with no mountains to now competing alongside the world’s best.

Alternatively, 60 Days with the Gypsies (Monday at 9pm on Channel4)…

Explorer Ed Stafford spends two months with Gypsy and Traveller communities across the country, as he delves beneath the stereotypes and reveals the challenges of living in modern-day Britain.

Or, Mary Beard’s Forbidden Art (Thursday at 9pm on BBC2)…

Part two of two. Mary unpacks the complex subject of art and ideology, considering a range of very different works that have challenged the political and social status quo, expressing opinions and attitudes that many have wanted to silence – and even erase. She examines artwork ranging from the etchings of Otto Dix, banned by the Nazis, to the paintings of artist and gay activist Derek Jarman.

And lastly, The Fear Index shows Thursday at 9pm on Sky Atlantic…

A scientist-turned-Wall Street tycoon becomes the target of a plot to destroy the world’s financial markets. On the eve of the launch of his revolutionary AI, Dr Alex Hoffman is attacked, but not before receiving an antique book from an anonymous sender. Thriller, starring Josh Hartnett.

Money talks…