By 
By Fr Declan Boland
St Paul’s letter to the Phillipians (Ch4:2-8) forms the basis of our reflection today where he says, “I want you to be happy, always happy in the Lord: I repeat, what I want is your happiness. Let your tolerance be evident to everyone; the Lord is very near. There is no need to worry; but if there is anything you need, pray for it, asking God for it with prayer and thanksgiving, and that peace of God, which is so much greater than we can understand, will guard your hearts and thoughts in Christ Jesus.”
Most of us think of happiness as a reaction to an event, but it is actually a state of mind that has very little to do with what is going on around us. Plenty of people have been sure that they would be absolutely happy when they got, or did something, only to become unhappy when the great event occurred. We have seen over and over again that lasting happiness is not found in winning the lottery, having a beautiful body, or eliminating wrinkles! All these things are temporarily elating, but the thrill quickly wears off and we are soon as happy or unhappy as we were before.
The good news is that we have been given all we need to make us happy; the bad news is that we often don’t know how to use what we have been given. Our minds, our hearts, and our souls have been fully coded for happiness; all the wiring has been built-in. Everyone is capable of finding happiness. All she or he has to do is to look for it in the right places.
While happiness is our natural state, we’ve been trained to feel more comfortable with unhappiness. In a strange way we are not used to happiness: At times it feels not only unnatural but undeserved. We feel guilty about being happy, and we wonder how we can strive to be happy when so many people are less fortunate than we are. Or as someone bluntly put it, “Why should you be happy?”
The answer is that you are God’s precious child. You were meant to enjoy all the wonders around you. And remember, that you have more to give to others, to the suffering when you are happy. When you have enough and are content, you will not act from a place of need or lack.
You will feel that you have a little extra to give to those around you, that you can afford to share more of your time, yourself, your money and your happiness. In reality, happy people are the least self-absorbed and self-centred around us.
They often volunteer their time and provide service to others, they are often kinder, more loving, forgiving and caring than their unhappy counterparts.
Being unhappy leads to selfish behaviour, while happiness expands our capacity to give.
True happiness is not the result of an event. It does not depend on circumstances. You, not what’s going on around you, determine your happiness.
Happiness depends not on what happens, but on how we handle what happens. Our happiness is determined by how we interpret, perceive, and integrated what happens into our state of mind. Happiness is our natural state, but we’ve forgotten how to be happy because we have got lost in our notions of what things should look like. Think about the advice we have all heard: “Just try to be happy.” The trying gets in the way of the feeling. We become happy gradually, not by simply learning some technique or attending a “happiness creating” event. Happiness comes from experiencing moments of happiness – and hopefully more and more of these. One day you’ll realise that you had five minutes of happiness. Then, before you know it, you’ve had an hour of happiness, then an evening, and later a full day of happiness.
Making comparisons is probably the shortest route to unhappiness. We can never be happy if we compare ourselves to others. No matter who we are, what we have, or what we can do, we’re always less than someone else in one way or another. Happiness comers from seeing ourselves as being OK, just as we are, today, without comparison to others, without reference to the way we were, or the way we fear we will be.
That “why me?” feeling that comes from seeing ourselves as victims of circumstances keeps us in unhappiness. There’s loss and recovery, sunshine and rain – it is not personally against us. Remember, your emotions and your reality are determined by your thoughts, not the other way around. You are not a victim of the world.
We think we will be happy when we get rid of problems or get past life’s uncomfortable times. Life does nor revolve around our big moments. Much of what we need to learn is found in the small moments of life – cherish these and celebrate!
