Parents ‘warmed’ at baby loss event

THE LOSS of a loved one is never easy but it can be especially painful when that loss is a child.

Marking Baby Loss Awareness Week on Sunday, crowds gathered for the ‘Wave of Light’ event at Derg Castle in a mark of solidarity and support for every bereaved parent, family member and friend touched by the tragedy of loss.

Parents who have gone through that heart wrenching loss lit candles to remember their beloved children.

Over ninety-five ribbons were constructed and erected by local woman Toni McCafferty who has gone through the loss of a child and who organised Sunday’s event. Also taking place was a sponsored cycle and the money raised was split between Sands NI (Stillbirth And Neonatal Death Support) and SiMBA (Simpson’s Memory Support Group).

One person for whom the event brought it all back was Strabane man Sean O’Neill, who went through the pain of child loss more than two decades ago.

Speaking to the Chronicle, Sean said, “My wife and I went through the loss associated with a miscarriage so long ago, yet the pain still lingers to this day. I can remember how we were so excited, getting into the swing of things of planning the journey into parenthood and were on the verge of sharing our happy news when the unthinkable happened. We went to the doctors firstly and then were told to go to the hospital. Back then, it was a different time and my wife and I were told, quite coldly ‘Yes you have miscarried’, handed a leaflet on how to deal with it and sent home.

“It took a long time to come to terms with the loss, and over time it got easier, but the constant thought of what might have been has always been present and it still resurfaces on occasion bringing all the emotions back. Seeing how many people attended the Wave of Light brought everything back along with thought of how something like this would have helped when we needed it.”

On entering the event, Sean admitted to feeling ‘warmed’ by the gathering.

He continued, “Not knowing what to expect as I walked in, I was greeted by lots of smiling faces. Everyone was in their comfort groups filled with partners and family. I was standing alone in a crowd but felt entirely at home with it as I was amidst people who had gone through the same experience I had. That feeling that no-one else can understand, unless you’ve been through it, of losing a little person whom you’ve never met but is always with you, is very powerful, especially when surrounded by people who have shared the same pain. What was a very sombre and lonely event was transformed into an event filled with engagement and warm remembrance.

“Taking a moment to hang a ribbon and light a candle helped ease the pain and allowed the emotion of loss to be felt and shared.”