Mundo peqeuño – The Boneyard

At the gig in Arizona’s Congress Hotel, I got talking to a friend of the gurus.
He was a Spanish fellow, but spoke better English than I did.

He used to be a music promoter, booking bands for festivals etc, but was now retired from the music biz to become an author.

Juan was his name.

Lovely guy.

He was telling me about a book he’d just written.

Each chapter was about a different band he’d worked with over the years, amusing anecdotes, and behind the scenes stories describing his encounters with each band/artist.

Every chapter was named after a person in the band.

I flicked through the book, and although I could not read Spanish, some of the names of the people jumped out at me.

One of the chapter titles was ‘DREW’.

I asked which Drew this was, and he told me it was Drew McConnell from Babyshambles, who happens to be an old house/bandmate of mine, and remains a best friend.

In fact, that night as we stood there, I was wearing a hat that Drew had given me a few weeks before.

I told this to the Juan, and we found it a funny coincidence.

Small world.

Small biz.

I asked what the chapter was about, and he broke it down for me.

While booking Babyshambles for a large festival in Spain, he was in the office prior to the show, when a knock came to the door.

It was Babyshambles.

They were due to go on stage in half an hour, but were demanding payment, in cash, up front, before going on stage, otherwise they weren’t going on.

Juan explained to them that they didn’t have that kind of money lying around, but the band said it’s okay, they’ll sit in the office and wait.

To remain discreet in front of the band, Juan and his assistant began communicating to each other in Spanish.

Stuff like, ‘Who do these guys think they are’.

‘This is the weirdest band in the world’.

And when his assistant went to try and get some money – or just to get out of the room – Juan shouted after her, ‘Don’t leave me alone with these!’

After some time and long awkward silences, the assistant returned, and somehow managed to have the cash with her.

It was five minutes before the band were due to play.

As Juan and his assistant counted the cash in front of the band, they continued to communicate with each other in Spanish, commenting on how weird the whole situation was and the band were a complete mess.

The band remained silent throughout the whole encounter.

As the money got handed over, the band started to leave the room one-by-one.

The last person to leave the room was Drew, who then turned to Juan and thanked him gratefully for the money in a long sentence, spoken in perfect Spanish.

Juan’s face went pure red as Drew exited the office.

Little did Juan or his assistant know that Drew had spent his youth growing up in Spain, and was perfectly fluent, so he had heard everything they were saying.

He didn’t seem to mind, though, and went on stage to play a whopper of a show.

I told Drew about the book, and got him a copy.

He remembered the incident fondly, and also remembered Juan, who he has now reconnected with and they have since become buddies.