Vlad the Invader – At Home

At least with Trump (and I never thought I’d be looking at a bright side when it came to The Donald), people eventually realised that he was mental and he was voted out of office. The same, however, cannot be said of one Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

Without being overly facetious (what’s happening in Ukraine at the moment is seriously bad stuff – and frightening too), the crux of the problem is that Vlad the Invader is practically impervious when it comes to public opinion.

Hypothetically, if a great swath of Russians decided that, like Trump, Putin was mental, they can’t very well vote him out by democratic means. In point of fact, they can’t even say that he’s mental or perhaps even comment negatively on as mundane as his attire.

“Jaysus, Vlad, did you dressed in the dark this morning?”

BANG!

And the criticism is gone.

In Russia, it is simply not a done thing to critique your betters. It is not done and it is not even conceived of.

I am reminded of the time the arse fell out of the Ruble. Between 2014 and 2016 there was a severe Russian financial crisis and at one point, the value of the Russian currency – the Ruble – went through the floor. This made headline news around the world because, as we are all intrinsically linked fiscally speaking, what was affecting the Ruble would ripple around the world. This was headline news on a global basis, except in Russia.

That terrible day, when the Ruble crashed, the lead story on the Russian evening news wasn’t about the financial crisis or the plummeting devaluation of the Ruble.

Instead, the lead story was: This year’s Russian Man of the Year Award goes to Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin!

The thing is, we are basically all the same. Whether you live in Fintona or Glenties or Tokyo or Moscow – people have the same needs, the same desires and the same hopes for the future and our children. We like dumplings and sandwiches. We like music and picnics. We enjoy gazing at the stars on clear nights and we enjoy good conversations and the craic.

A family living in Saint Petersburg wants the same thing as a family living in Plumbridge. Nobody except the mentalists in our midst wants war.

How then can it come to pass that such a mentalist can sneak his way into power in the largest country in the world, repeatedly lie about his intentions, blame the capitalist west for his country’s failings and then renege on a peace deal, invade Ukraine and then – and THEN – blame the west for that invasion. This is a rhetorical question of course and barring divine intervention, I don’t have any of the answers.

Of course, the situation in Russia with Putin is very complicated and yet it is undeniable that he has crafted – through fear, assassination, attempted assassination, poisoning and state control of the populace’s media – a modern autocracy. However, it says much about the man when that most enlightened of us, none other than the Dalai Lama himself described Putin as “self-centred.”

That about sums the man up. This invasion isn’t about Russian security. It isn’t about securing “our historic future as a nation” (as he recently suggested). It isn’t even about ousting the Nazis from Ukraine as he also recently claimed. This is all about Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, his legacy and his mentalism.

If you’re reading this Mr Putin, these are this week’s recommendations. And before you ask, no, no-one gets poisoned.

First up (and in no particular order), we have Rock Til We Drop (Tuesday at 9pm on BBC2)…

Martin Kemp and Lady Leshurr search for incredible musicians over the age of 64 to form two rock ‘n’ roll bands, who will perform at the Isle of Wight Festival in just six weeks’ time. Both mentors hold open mic sessions to find the bands’ lead singers, with Martin looking for a soul voice, while Lady Leshurr is searching for someone who can mix rock with reggae

Alternatively, Your Body with Kate Garraway (Wednesday at 8pm on BBC2)…

Kate Garraway and Dr Guddi Singh meet patients with everyday medical conditions and take them through an immersive medical consultation to help better understand their illness. In the first episode, Kate and Guddi meet Hilda, a fashion influencer suffering from fibroids, who confronts her debilitating condition, as well as grandmother Trudi struggling with a frozen shoulder.

And lastly, Amol Rajan Interviews Ian McKellan Thursday at 9pm on BBC2…

One of the most celebrated performers of his generation, Ian McKellen has long defied convention and expectation. Amol Rajan asks him about growing up in Lancashire during the Second World War, launching his acting career at Cambridge alongside Derek Jacobi, and finally choosing to reveal the truth publicly about his sexuality in 1988.