Movie reviewer dips his toe into acting – with a former Bond girl

Before last Friday, I had no interest in being in front of a camera. Even seeing a phone camera being pointed in my direction was enough to elicit a quick getaway before the impending shot could be completed. As I say, that was before last Friday.

Casually scrolling through Facebook on Friday morning, I happened on a post seeking extras for a new film production in the Donegal area. It asked for people under 5’4 (check) and also specified someone in a wheelchair (double check) so thought ‘Why not give it a rattle? What’s the worst that could happen?’ An email was swiftly dispatched and, even swifter, forgotten about. I didn’t expect to hear anything back anytime soon. Then the phone rang on Friday afternoon and a cheery voice belonging to a lady named Claire greets me.

“Hi Paul, we got your email and you sound ideal. Can you come to Dunfanaghy on Monday?”

“Um… aye, I’d love to.”

“Grand, I’ll send over some details on what you’ll need to wear and we need pictures. You’re playing a fisherman so, earthy tones.”

Phone down.

One swift dress up montage later and I was off to Donegal on Monday morning to appear as an extra in ‘The Man With The Urn’ starring Ciaran Hinds, Stephen Dillane, Olga Kurylenko and Naomi Wirthner.

With a ‘call time’ (look at me being all showbizzy) of midday, I set off in plenty of time, arriving at Patsy Dan’s Bar in the seaside village as requested. I was met at the car by a nice fella called Barry and, expecting to encounter my fellow ‘fisherpeople’ I was instead met with a deathly silence. There wasn’t a sinner there except me and the bar’s resident greyhound, Ronnie. Anticipating downtime, I brought a book and settled in with my tome and a coffee. Occasionally people would mill in and out and Ronnie would look up. Eventually the second assistant director Rob introduced himself, saying we wouldn’t be shooting until after lunch, but aside from that, I was on my lonesome.

About half one, there was a burst of activity as a line of people dressed as fishermen finally made their entrance: ‘Ah ha. My fellow fishers!’ and the bar came alive. Stories were swapped of past productions, football, or scenes that a few had already shot. I caught a brief glimpse of Stephen Fry who came in for one scene and promptly disappeared again.

Then we waited, and waited and…waited.

Suddenly the moment was upon us. The director finally decided, at half six, that I was ready for my close-up and off we trotted to the pier. Handed a clipboard and pen, my instructions were simple; ‘write down what these guys tell you’, pretending to tot up fish quantities under the watchful eye of two fisheries inspectors.

A non-thespian won’t appreciate just how many shots are required until on a set, with frequent shouts of ‘Cut’, ‘Roll’ and ‘Reset’ echoing through the early evening air; repetitive but never boring.

At one point, Rob says, “You’re going to have a scene with Olga.”

I must admit, having a scene with a former Bond girl on your first film is a weird feeling. The Ukrainian-born French actress appeared alongside Daniel Craig in 2008’s ‘Quantum of Solace.’ However she came over, introduced herself, was utterly lovely and we did the scene.

As the light began to fade, the words ‘that’s a wrap’ echoed around the still waters of Dunfanaghy pier. Everybody clapped and headed for home, including me – a bit weary, a bit hungry but glad to be part of the experience.

As I headed back to Strabane, I knew I’d still dodge any photos if and when necessary but, would I give this acting gig a go another time? You bet!