Girls remember beloved dad by making teddies with his old shirts

A STRABANE mother has spoken about the vital support her family received from Foyle Hospice’s Healing Hearts counselling service following the sudden death of her husband almost two years ago.

Joanne Hamilton and her four daughters were devastated in September 2023 when her husband, Christopher ‘Christy’ Hamilton, collapsed in the road outside their house as the family was moving sheep.

Despite the rapid response of emergency services, neighbours and Air Ambulance, the 42-year-old died at the scene from a suspected heart attack, leaving his young family shattered.

In the aftermath of Christopher’s passing, Joanne and her daughters struggled to come to terms with their loss. However, through Healing Hearts, they found the support they desperately needed.

Recalling how she first reached out for help, Joanne said: “Everyone was left devastated by Christy’s death, especially my third daughter, who was really struggling to come to terms with it almost straight away.

“I emailed various counselling services seeking their help, and every one emailed back saying, ‘These emotions are absolutely normal, let yourself feel them and come back to us in six months.’ I just couldn’t put myself or the girls through waiting that long; my heart was breaking for myself, but it was also breaking for them.

“My brother heard from a friend about Healing Hearts at Foyle Hospice and suggested I contact them. I was unsure at first; Christy didn’t die from cancer, but I sent off the form anyway.

“Almost immediately, Michelle from Healing Hearts contacted me. One of the first things she said to me was, ‘A bereaved child is a bereaved child,’ and immediately offered help.”

At first, Joanne found it difficult to engage with the group.

“I did think to myself, ‘How on earth did I get involved in this group? It’s not for me,’ because Christy’s death wasn’t cancer-related. But we’ve been made to feel so welcome as a family.

“Getting the girls involved was also a challenge. Children, being children, don’t always want to talk about their feelings. Michelle checks in every month to see how we’re doing, offering advice, counselling, or just a friendly ear. I don’t know what we’d do without her.”

‘Everyone is different’

Now, Joanne has gone from being a newcomer to an established member of the Healing Hearts community. She understands what new families are going through and encourages them to take part at their own pace.

“I understand how the new people coming through are feeling, and whether you want to talk or not, it’s OK. Everyone is different, but the most important thing to remember is that everyone is welcome.

“I also understand now, looking back, why professionals recommend waiting six months before seeking formal counselling. The emotions we go through in those early months are natural.”

Although Healing Hearts provides counselling, Joanne and her daughters have found comfort more in the social side of the programme.

“Our focus has been on the activities, taking part in events at the Hospice, days out, and other gatherings that provide a safe space for the girls and me to talk with others who have experienced loss. I’ve made so many friends, and we have a WhatsApp group to keep in touch. As time goes on, that support becomes a real source of comfort.

“The group is always evolving, and it’s scary to see so many new people added. It just shows how death comes to us all. It helps, but it’s the group no one wants to be in.”

Joanne is committed to remaining part of the Healing Hearts family for as long as possible, believing it provides invaluable support for her daughters.

“My girls have reacted differently to the situation. The two youngest throw themselves into the activities, while the older girls help keep the younger children occupied and also take part in mindfulness and yoga sessions.

“One of the most meaningful things they’ve done is make bears from their dad’s old clothes. It’s a way to keep him close, and they absolutely cherish them.”