Friendship across the generations

Loneliness is a feeling we all understand, but for many older adults, it becomes more profound with age.

As the later chapters of life unfold, factors like retirement, health issues, and social isolation often lead to a quiet, persistent loneliness.

This is especially true for many elderly residents in the North, where a recent study found that five per-cent of people aged over 66 in Fermanagh and Omagh are living alone—around 6,000 people.

Of those, more than half face health challenges, and a significant portion have no car, further limiting their independence.

Mary Fisher, an 85-year-old from Omagh, knows this reality all too well. Visually impaired and with limited mobility, Mary spends most of her days at home.

But determined not to let loneliness take hold, she reached out to Laurence Harte, a coordinator for a local initiative called ‘Beyond the Call’, which pairs isolated residents with caring volunteers.

In August, she was matched with Rachael Maxwell, a 30-year-old project manager who had recently moved to Omagh. Since then, Mary and Rachael have been meeting bi-weekly, forming a friendship that has brightened both their lives.

To celebrate Befriending Week, we joined them for one of their regular shopping trips—a simple outing, but one that brings Mary great joy. As we gathered around the table for tea and chocolate digestives, Mary and Rachael shared stories and laughter, the start of an afternoon that felt more like a family visit than a community service.

Rachael, who moved to Omagh from Enniskillen last year, has embraced the opportunity to connect with Mary and to become more involved in the community. While she works remotely for a US-based IT company, her time with Mary provides a warm, meaningful contrast to her workday.

They both gain something special from these visits – a fact that quickly becomes clear as they chat easily, with Mary recalling memories from her years raising children in O’Kane Park and sharing stories of her lively community.

Mary has lived a full life, working as a school cleaner and being an active member of EYEspeak, a local group for people who are blind or partially-sighted. Though her visual impairment brings its challenges, Mary approaches life with humour and resilience, recounting with laughter the time her umbrella ‘stole’ a stranger’s handbag!

Caught up in the drizzly Omagh weather, Mary accidentally hooked a handbag with her umbrella, almost leading to an unintended ‘theft’. Such light-hearted tales reflect Mary’s spirited nature and keep both her and Rachael laughing as they share these moments together.

Soon, the two are off to SuperValu, Mary’s favourite store. Rachael guides her through the aisles, chatting about everything from plums to Barry’s Tea – the only tea, in Mary’s view, worth drinking.

Simple moments, like selecting her own groceries or visiting the café for a coffee, have restored a sense of independence and normalcy for Mary.

“I never get to the shops by myself anymore,” she says. “And trying to cross the road on my own would be a disaster.”

With Rachael’s help, Mary has regained a little of the freedom she missed, and for that, she’s grateful.

To the outside world, they’re just two friends on a shopping trip.

But to Mary, these outings mean much more. They are a reminder that she is seen, valued, and not alone. Rachael, too, finds joy in their friendship.

“It’s nice for me to get out for a few hours and spend time with Mary,” she says.

“I’m glad for the chance to meet people and connect with the community.”

After shopping, as Rachael loads the groceries into her car, Mary lets out a contented sigh – a quiet symbol of the happiness their friendship brings. On the way home, they discuss favourite shopping spots and local news, their laughter filling the car.

Back at Mary’s house, there’s a warm invitation for another cup of tea, and we stay a little longer, savouring the comfort of good company.

Before saying goodbye, Mary reflects on how ‘Beyond the Call’ has changed her life.

“I’m a bit brighter knowing Rachael will visit,” she said with a smile. It’s a reminder of the simple, powerful impact of human connection – an impact that doesn’t just lift the spirits but enriches the lives of everyone involved.