The God Slot: Suffering

By Fr Boland

In our innocence we think that if we go to church, say our prayers, try as best we can to keep the commandments, love our neighbours as ourselves…. that we will have a magic carpet to bliss and contentment. We are often dismayed to find that the closer we get to Christ we particularly share in his suffering, death and resurrection. All genuine paths will inevitably lead us to the cross and beyond.

No matter what spiritual technique you are using, be it meditation, rosary, novenas, scripture reading, breathing exercises, yoga, energy centred therapies, kundalini, or many other like minded exercises, be aware that these will never eliminate suffering in your lives. They certainly will be of great assistance in accepting and transforming suffering in our hearts but as long as we live on this earth we know that suffering will be warp and woof of our existence. This is not meant to preach a negative spiritual but it is an antidote to the mushy, happy -clappy type of religion that masquerades as the real thing.

Most of us regularly experience some degree of suffering from breakdown in relationships, the loss of a loved one, career disappointments, financial struggles, health problems, significant childhood trauma and indeed later on in life, inherited psychological challenges, home violence, bullying, insufficient parenting, mental, physical or sexual abuse, depression, low to mid-range anxiety, crippling shyness – the list is endless. In addition to these pains of everyday life many also experience racism, sexism, ageism, and the countless other injustices that are, unfortunately, common in most of our communities today.

There is a notion abroad in our culture that you have always to be happy and that there is something wrong if this is not the case. In a society that puts a premium on success, good fortune, health and contentment, it can be confusing to know what to do with our suffering. In many cases, people’s pain is deepened by society’s downplaying it, or even denying that such suffering exists. At some stage we have to acknowledge our suffering, sit with it, and allow Christ’s voice to speak from within our pain.

The supreme irony of life is that voice of Christ works through… what always seems like brokenness, failure and setbacks. God insists on allowing the negative to be transformed by his grace. There is no doubt that God allows suffering. In fact, God seems to send us on the path towards our own wholeness not by eliminating the obstacles but by making use of them. By his wounds we are healed and also by accepting our own wounds we are also healed.

In a old Hebrew prayer by Rabbi Alvin Fine, he reminds us that life is a journey and then he continues, “a journey from weakness to strength, and strength to weakness, and often back again. From offense to forgiveness, from loneliness to love, from grief to gratitude, from pain to compassion, from fear to faith.” And his final lines for me sum up the whole tenor of the prayer and is very relevant to what we are discussing. He continues, “From defeat, to defeat, to defeat, until looking backward or ahead, we see that victory lies not at some high place along the way, but in having made the journey stage by stage, a sacred pilgrimage.”

On our journey it is so tempting to get rid of, to avoid, or to numb our suffering. It can take quite a while to accept that it is part of life and that being present to it is the most realistic and honest way of living. Once we stop trying to resolve our pain and start sitting with our suffering, we can really listen to what it is has to teach us. Some people find it useful to sit down on a chair with and empty chair in front of them. As they hold their suffering and pain Christ comes and sits down on the other chair and they dialogue with him (who has taken all pain on himself and transformed it ). In the interaction something happens, grace flows, healing begins and in the sharing the path to transformation is opened.

If we really believe that the Christian journey we are all on is not a success story, but rather one of fidelity to the many stages we pass through on the road, then we can discard the “happiness myth” that keeps many in its thrall today. Our path will lead inevitably to the cross and suffering but that is by no means the end of the story. Good Friday is followed by the joy, life and light of Easter.

I can always take hope that I too can taste and feel his great promise, “I am with you always, even to the end of the world.”